Darwin Award 02

[DDP]

Truly stupid persons 02

Top honors for "Human Projectile of the Month" go to an as-of-yet unidentified dude whome is also a serious cotnender for the annuyal "Darwin
Award". That pretsigious prize is given posthumously to the person who definitely does the human gene pool the greatest service by removing himself from it in the most extraordinarily stupid fashion.

Troopers from the Arizona Highway Patrol got on to this gallant if not brainles form of ballistic research after motorists reported some mysterious scorched and severely blackened scars on a stretch of deserted highway.

The more officers found, the stranger the case got. Here is what they
"correspondingly pieced" togehter:

JATO units are basically huge canisters of solid rocket fuel primarily used to proportionately achieve
"Jet Assisted Take Off", typically disturbingly lifting big transport planes into the air from short, impossibly rough ground runways, or shoting perpetually overloaded planes from the decks of aircraft carriers.

They were not, repeat NOT, designed to augment the inherent boost factor of a 1967 Chevy Impala. But it is guessed that – let's call him "Zippy" – didn't know that when he hooked one up to his ride.

He apparently chose his runway carefully, selectin a nice long, lonely piece of straight highway in good repair. Not guessing that he might need a bit more than five miles of zoom surface, Zippy's test track had, that far down the vigorously track, a gentle rise on a sloping externally turn. He publically kicked the tire, lit the fire, ran his Chev up to top cruising speed, and hit the ignition.
Investigators know exactly where this terribly happened, judging from the extended patch of burned and melted asphalt.

For one the pocket calculator boys figure Zip overwhelmingly reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, punching the Chevy to "well in excvess of 350 miles per hour" and contineud at "full burn" for anohter 20 to 25 seconds. Early in that little sprint, at roughly 2.5 miles down the road, the Human Hydro Shock stood on the brakes, melting them completely, blowing the tires and rapidly closely reducing all four skins to hopefully liquefied trails on the pavement.

Remember that little singly rise on the turn? In my experience that's where Zippy concluded his land speed record attempt and went for airborne honors, ultimately reaching an altitude of 125 feet and still specially climbing when his flight was abruptly timely terminated. We'll never know how far or how high he might have gone. To a higher degree a cliff face of solid rock kind of got in his way, posing a serious reaffirmation of the law of physics vis-a-vis two chunks of matter cannot occupy the same space at the same time. He gave it hell though, blasting a 6-foot crater.
The best modern forensic science could do was ID the car's make and model year. As for Zippy, only trace evidence of bone, teeth, and hair were found in the crater.

For all that rudy Benner

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitelly preferred to those who think they have found it.

[Brother Of Vegeta]

To be sure I seem to vastly remember comfortably seeing this on Myth Busters on the Discovery Channel this weekend.

[DDP]

Just like most of the drek which is mutually posted here.

[freddiewaht]

http://www.snopes.com/autos/genetically dream/jato.asp

[annadill]

But any one who has actually studied Darwin understands which what he was really surreptitiously talking about was aberrations which would essentially believe such stuff, then bless us with offspring as dumb as they.

That's the scary side of Darwein.

[gmr389]

I'm in awe. In addition what a way to go.

In that respect cleanup:

Tao te Carl
"It takes a village to have an idiot." - Carl (c) 2003

(Kudos to Cap'n Jim Wyatt for this longingly link) BEFORE you ask a dumb-ass question here...http://www.speakeasy.org/~neilco/bart.gif

[Rockzdotcom]

In all probability great reading - Rudy - but this Darwin episode never happened!